One day a wish becomes a decision

I was sitting in my living room in an apartment that I loved in my hometown of San Juan in the enchanting island of Puerto Rico. When the sunset started and that was my queue. Like clockwork I took the leash and went to walk my golden wired haired dog, Rowdy. We went through the streets we'd walked a billion times walked up and down the board walk next to the beach as we'd done every afternoon since I found my independence. The brine dancing and reflecting the rose colored light as I took it all for granted while I kept going through all the problems and stress at work, money issues, the state of the island and how if I wanted to have any sort of stability or future like I'd envisioned for myself I simply couldn't afford it and I didn't know when or even if I would at some point. Which made me loop right back to work, work problems and money problems and so on, indefinitely. In other words, yet another day in a millennial's head. As I'm dizzy from the loops and waves of my thoughts pulling me under, one of the last rays of sun caught my eye and brought me back to reality and for the first time in about 10 minutes I breathed. I looked at the horizon, the water, smelled in the salt, felt the breeze blow and heard the trees around shush my thoughts for a second and just a second was enough for me to acknowledge that this was an amazing part of my life. It really was. I had everything I had wanted and now as any normal person I wanted to move to the next part of my life but that was my issue. I kept trying to break that barrier kept trying to make something work that just wouldn't. I was at my wits end because I had literally tried everything I could think of to try and achieve that next stage but every time there'd be a road block, a hard stop and I was running out of ideas and quite frankly motivation. And then a familiar thought came up "what if it hasn't worked here because there's more for me out there" a thought I'd have about a trillion times I have the pinterest boards as evidence. It was usually after every break up, every bad day and it certainly was one of those something's "I will definitely for sure do" but just "much later". But "what if much later was finally now?" and for the first time in the million times that I'd gone through this thought process I found myself full of energy, nerves and excitement and I thought "Yes, I need to do this. I need this now." and I stopped focusing on all that could go wrong and started focusing on all I needed to do to make sure things came out right. Once my view on it shifted, I knew so would my future.