I moved...now what?

                      So, you moved.

You spent months researching and looking up information. Studying the job and rent market.You felt like a local before you even got there. You finally have your apartment, a job and at least know your way back home from the places you tend to frequent; like the grocery store. You've been on survival mode for so long putting out the little fires that inevitably happen with the unpredictability of ,well, life that you don't even notice the little things. You're just running on auto pilot until one day suddenly, you wake up, light coming in through the window, pouring on to a room you've barely had the chance to make your home.

Yet you stare at the bare walls and smile as they remind you of the blank canvas you've just given yourself in life. For the first time in months you are able to think and not react, to enjoy instead of solve a moment, and that's when you say to yourself "Now what?"

And out of the corner of your mind comes that voice, the one that pushed you to this, that nagged till you left the comfort zone. The one that belongs to that person you've always wanted to try to be, that you've finally given a chance to be and she says more clearly than ever:


                                                             "Now, we color that canvas."
 

Here and there...

                                                         *crunch* *shift * *crunch* *shift *

The sound as I walked in the snow on my way home from my stop is a one that no matter how long I've heard and will continue to hear this winter still makes me smile every time. Its so peculiar. Like that of wood creaking or a rock skipping over a frozen lake. The first time I heard that strange kind of whooping sound made as the rock skids over the frozen surface I had to immediately do it again. Just to make sure I'd heard it properly.

Snow in Denver is a little stranger than I expected though. Everything is so dry. Actually much of everything here is nothing like I'd experienced before. Every little detail about this city and its weather, its brick buildings, its amazing, scenic, breathtaking views no matter where you look, all, I never expected. I didn't ever think I'd fall in love with Denver as fast or as hard as I have. But my pedal is on the accelerator and for the first time in years I'm willing to commit to something.

However this whole moving experience hasn't been as quixotical as it may seem. Leaving my country, the only way of life I've known, has been much harder than the excitement would have let me expect. And it all started even before I had left.

There's just this weird thing that happens when something is coming to an end. Suddenly that place or person isn't as bad as it seemed just yesterday. Suddenly all you can remember are the good things that happened, all the good experiences you had there or with them and then the doubt sets in. Its like you're brain is high jacking your heart and confusing it so you'll stick to the known and play it safe. Its a very dangerous instinct that was instilled in us from a very young age out of love that makes us stay with in the comfort zones. Like being practical is not a bad thing, not at all, but it can hinder a growing, evolving soul.

Some days I have to tell myself this more than others. Some days my bones yearn for the warmth, sounds, smells and peace you can only find back home. Peace transmitted via the sun shining through your lids, the smell of brine in the air, the warm wind caressing your face. Some days I walk down the snowy white frozen street, hands in pockets, smiling to the sound of the snow.

   
     I'd love to hear how other's have been adjusting. If you'd like to share as well, leave me a comment!